____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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