I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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