Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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