You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
it's like heaven, but drunker
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
