the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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