That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
