there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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