This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
