I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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