You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
