the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
