so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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