Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
