Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
