HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
