I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
