so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
