I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
