so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
