At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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