Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You left your underwear on the fireplace
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
