Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
