I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
