I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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