She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
