could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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