dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
