Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I need to sanitize my soul.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
