its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
God I need to hump something, right now.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
