so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
