if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
