Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
