I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
