We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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