dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
