Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
