Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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