drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
