Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
This baby is an asshole
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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