just tell him i said nine months
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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