real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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