You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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