one word: firstdatebathroomanal
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
