Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
