Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
bring money and cleavage
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
