Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize