Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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