i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
