I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Shame - the story of my life.
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