we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
