Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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