Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
