I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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