oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
