hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
