Non-Jews are for practice
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
