I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
