Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
