Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
